Full disclaimer: I am an unrepentant
Sleepyhead. I LOVE the show. It's the show that made me want to
write for television and film. You'd think this would mean that I
would be willing to cut the show some slack, but at the moment, I
think it actually means the exact opposite. I really worry that my
thoughts, which follow, may be a bit too hard on the writers. And if
that's the case, I do apologize. I love you guys, appreciate your
hard work, and really am trying to be patient. But because I love
this show, and know it intimately, I have some pretty strong opinions
about things, rightly or wrongly.
I was thrilled to hear over the hiatus
that the show was planning to get back to its old self, to the fun of
Season 1. But when that was described as being “not so dark,”
favoring episodic plots over season-long arcs, I
worried, “did any of them ever WATCH Season 1?” Season 1 WAS
fun—it was largely fantastic—but it was dark, and very serious at
times, and very sad in places, and had some really cool arcs. It
also had a lot of intense emotion from two characters struggling with
interesting shit, and a fascinating blooming partnership of equals.
And it had a terrifying villain with the most gorgeous, complex
motivation.
Season 2, as we all know, had issues.
I'm not going to reiterate them here. New showrunner Clifton
Campbell, returning writers and new writers had their work cut out
for them in trying to regain the magic of Season 1 and the trust of
the fans, whilst coping with the canon handed to them by Season 2.
They lost half their cast, they're on life-support in terms of
ratings, Fox gave them a terrifically difficult new time slot and
almost no promotion. They're rebuilding this season, and patience on
the part of the fans is a kindness they deserve. I feel for them,
and I really, really appreciate how much they seemed to hear and
respond affirmatively to fan concerns and requests.
That said, there are some patterns emerging in
this season that are really not working for me, including two in
particular which carry over from Season 2. Because I do love this show,
I must speak to them on the off-chance such reflection helps. But first...
The Good Stuff
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| About damn time. |
1. Girl(s) on Fire
Abbie Mills is back where she belongs, front and center. Jenny
Mills is back where she belongs, front and right next to center. Yes.
2. We Are Together, Finally
Abbie and Crane are working together, their partnership anchoring the
show as it always must. They've had some good scenes together, most
notably their reunion in the ICE detention center, and their tender,
soul-baring exchange on Abbie's porch.
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| Why ARE we sitting so far away from each other? |
4. Killing Me Softly
Jesus, where did you find Shannyn Sossamon? I loved Pandora from the
moment she said “pretty horse.” (and I still
miss Headless). Even when totally insane, she conveys a heartbreak
that makes me want to know more.
5. Our House
Having Abbie and Crane move in together was a very interesting
choice. I think I like this. Possibly a lot. There's a lot of good
potential conflict and “feels” moments there, such as Ichabod's
convalescence scene.
6. My
Boyfriend's Back
I'm thrilled that y'all brought Joe Corbin back. Thank you for
hearing us! Zach Appelman is a phenomenal actor. Can't wait for him
to Actually Start Doing Shit.
7. Yesterday
Katrina and Henry are both still dead and no one really cares.
8. Oh, Daddy
Abbie found her pops and is wrestling with that. I can relate.
9. Applause
With one exception, noted below, the acting of our regulars has been
superb. I have to particularly commend Mison for his near-death and
convalescence scenes. First-rate.
10. Please, Mr. Postman, Look and See
Finally, I must thank the writers for their achingly sweet valentines
to the fans, especially us Tom Mison crushees (crushers? crushed?).
Of particular note: Crane Gets Dressed, Crane Sings Again, Dani Crushes on Crane, Betsy Ross Crushes on Crane, Zoe Corinth Crushes on Crane, Crane Dances the Minuet, Crane Has Great Hair Even If It's Still Too Short, Crane Takes the Jesus Route and It Nearly Kills Him, Crane Cleans Abbie's House, Crane Brings Abbie a Cup of Tea, Crane, Drugged on the Sofa, Confesses his Need for Abbie, you get the idea.
Of particular note: Crane Gets Dressed, Crane Sings Again, Dani Crushes on Crane, Betsy Ross Crushes on Crane, Zoe Corinth Crushes on Crane, Crane Dances the Minuet, Crane Has Great Hair Even If It's Still Too Short, Crane Takes the Jesus Route and It Nearly Kills Him, Crane Cleans Abbie's House, Crane Brings Abbie a Cup of Tea, Crane, Drugged on the Sofa, Confesses his Need for Abbie, you get the idea.
(Do yourself a favor and take 9 seconds to watch this. Go on, I'll wait.)
Other great valentines include Jenny doing pretty much anything,
Colonial Times in its entirety (but especially "the corner goes in front! You're not a pirate!" GORGEOUS), Abbie and Crane finally perpetrating
more delinquency together, stealing Betsy's satchel, and Abbie's terribly rare “you really got a hold on me” glances at Crane.
The Stuff I'm Waiting Patiently
On
I'm not impressed with most of the new characters yet, or at least
not their journeys. But I
think that's mostly because they don't have any journeys yet. I trust that
will change.
1. Betsy
Ross
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| Like her sass, but the jury's still out. |
I really liked Nikki Reed's (and Albert Kim's) Betsy Ross in the
premiere. I'm thrilled to finally see a woman in a corset who can
fight, but her skills, and her strength--given her size--do strain my
suspension of disbelief. I found her voice and delivery wholly unconvincing, too modern, too young, and spell-breaking in episode 2, (though I did love her less-than-clothed exchange with
Crane). I'm looking forward to her next appearance.
2. Daniel
Reynolds
Lance Gross is some marvelous eye-candy, and he's every woman's
fantasy male boss, encouraging Abbie and tells her how much he
respects and believes in her, refusing to micromanage her. But
beyond being ambitious, he isn't really a character yet. I'm looking
forward to him becoming one. I don't understand why Nikki Reed has a
title card and he doesn't.
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| "Of all the gin joints in all the world...." |
3. Ms.
Corinth
She's no Miss Caroline, but she's okay. For now.
4. Randall
What a handsome teddy bear. I'd love to see his character develop.
5. Sophie
Boy, do I dislike her. As in, good writing, good acting. I'm
curious about her mysterious relationship to August Corbin, but not
as curious as Sleepy Hollow seems to want me to be.
 |
| "Little Joey Corbin"? |
6. Joe
Corbin
Joe Corbin is not Opie. Please stop writing him that way.
7. Pandora
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| The Emperor's New Body |
Like Headless, Pandora needs a really great, complex human
motivation, or she's just never going to be really scary. For now,
though, Shannyn Sossamon is doing a great job being creepy, crazy,
insanely hot, mysterious, and weird, particularly given that she's
acting opposite CGI most of the time. I'm not really into all her
cheesy poetry, but that's her MO and at least she's consistent. Oh,
and she can sing, so my dreams of a Sleepy Hollow musical
episode move that much closer to reality.
1. Hi-Larious
Ichabod and Invulnerable Abbie
Please, writers. I beg you. Go back and watch the baseball game
scene from “The Sin-Eater.” Note it's tone, feel, quiet humor,
charm. Note how, even though Ichabod makes an hysterical mistake, he
doesn't look a fool, just an innocent. An adorable innocent. Even
Abbie thinks so. It's sweet, tender, mature, real, believable, AND
funny. THAT'S the Ichabod humor we need. Ichabod who is just a
normal man struggling with a completely abnormal situation. Let his
humor come from that. Please stop making him a clown (see The Speech
from “Blood and Fear”).
 |
| Yes. |
 |
| No. |
Similarly, please go back and watch all of “The Sin-Eater” just
for Nicole Beharie's performance of Abbie. God, I miss that woman.
She's incredibly strong, AND allows herself to be extremely
vulnerable, both where rational fear of the Headless Horseman is
concerned, and in her grief and terror over Ichabod potetially dying. Strength does not require the absence of vulnerability. If anything, it requires it.
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| Watch this scene from "The Sin-Eater" and then the "Pieta" scene from "Blood and Fear." The difference is painful. |
Now, I get it. Abbie is not the same woman she was. She's been to
purgatory and back. She's been to the 18th century and
back. She has faced some of her darkest fears and triumphed. I have
no problem with her exuding gobs more confidence. But the strongest,
most confident of people still noticeably exhibit fear, loneliness,
sorrow, anger, grief, and love. At least, the likeable ones do.
I really do appreciate the profound subtlety of Nicole Beharie's
acting. But given the narrative thus far in the season, I fear it may be too subtle, as much about
the way she's relating to Ichabod makes no emotional sense to me.
She loves Ichabod, in theory, I think? He's her partner, if not
her soul mate, is he not? They've literally been to (almost) hell and back together. But Ichabod nearly died in the last
episode, “Blood and Fear,” and, to quote my husband, Abbie's
voice had about as much concern for him as if she'd dropped a paper
clip. We could hardly see her face because a) it was too dark, and
b) the director kept doing these lovely Pieta shots from far
away. It actually sounded to me like what she was thinking was,
“look, everyone knows you're going to pull through this, so stop
being such a drama-queen, Crane, and get-up.” She then promptly went and had a drink with her boss while her partner was, presumably, in surgery! Granger got more love and he wasn't even a character!
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| Jenny gets it. |
In general Abbie's been surprisingly cold, almost angry it seems,
towards Ichabod, without the necessary narrative
explanation of “you abandoned me to save your wife, you
abandoned us to save your son--look at where that got us--I
risked my life to save you, and then you abandoned me to go on holiday to Scotland [on whose dime?] and couldn't so much as text me for 9 months? DUDE!”
I liked that she gave him a restrained amount of shit about that in the premiere, but then she either needed to go deeper into that in the subsequent episodes, or warm up to him.
People keep saying how great it is that Abbie and Ichabod act like an old, married couple. I disagree. They're not married. They've never even had the chance to date, let alone be lovers. There's heat in the repressed attraction and desire of two people who can't be together. There's humor, but no heat whatsoever, in The Honeymooners.
I liked that she gave him a restrained amount of shit about that in the premiere, but then she either needed to go deeper into that in the subsequent episodes, or warm up to him.
People keep saying how great it is that Abbie and Ichabod act like an old, married couple. I disagree. They're not married. They've never even had the chance to date, let alone be lovers. There's heat in the repressed attraction and desire of two people who can't be together. There's humor, but no heat whatsoever, in The Honeymooners.
The New Stuff That's Really
Pissing Me Off
1. The
Collective, Catastrophic Brain Injuries of the People in Sleepy
Hollow
The writers had a
formidable task ahead of them trying to steer Sleepy Hollow away from
the icebergs of Season 2, whilst still dealing with the fallout of
that canon. But pretending it never happened is not cool, guys. You can reboot the series, but you
can't reboot our brains. We were there.
In the premiere, Abbie tells Crane multiple times, in multiple ways, that the Witnesses' mission is
over, the Apocalypse is over, the war is over, blah, blah, blah, it's time for them
to get nice, normal careers and start climbing professional ladders.
This whole story arc was written, acted and directed beautifully. It
just had one problem: it made no sense whatsofuckingever in light of
the very end of the episode which immediately preceded it.
At the end of the Season 2 finale, Abbie says LITERALLY the exact opposite. Per ancestor Grace Dixon, whom she amazingly just met in 1781 and who saved everything (more Grace Dixon!), “this war is not over.” The toughest battles are yet to come, and we're all in this together (at least those of us who don't go on walkabout or get inexplicably fired from the show).
“This is what we're here for.” I mean, really. Abbie could not have been more clear.
At the end of the Season 2 finale, Abbie says LITERALLY the exact opposite. Per ancestor Grace Dixon, whom she amazingly just met in 1781 and who saved everything (more Grace Dixon!), “this war is not over.” The toughest battles are yet to come, and we're all in this together (at least those of us who don't go on walkabout or get inexplicably fired from the show).
“This is what we're here for.” I mean, really. Abbie could not have been more clear.
The reason for her attitudinal 180 has
yet to be adequately addressed in the narrative this season. Her simply
stating, with very little emotion, that when Crane left and the evil
doings seemed to calm down, she decided she couldn't put her life on
hold and so went back to Plan A, Quantico, the FBI, etc., is wholly
inadequate. It made sense, had the season 2 finale never happened,
and was perfectly acted by Beharie. But the season 2 finale DID happen, which means the emotions which fueled such a dramatic change, rather than the logic, needed to be explored in the
writing for it to be believable.
Jenny spends the entirety of episode 2
trying to keep “Little Joey Corbin” safe from the Big Bad
Mysterious World she, Abbie, and Crane inhabit, the one his father kind
of, well, fathered. Joe spends the whole episode trying to convince
her that he has a right to the only legacy his dad left him, to carry
on the fight his dad began. Neither one of them ever, once,
acknowledges the Armored Personnel Carrier in the room, namely that
“Little Joey Corbin” is an Iraq vet with massive PTSD from having
killed his entire unit while transformed by the Horseman of War into
a wendigo, a possession which nearly killed him.
HOW DOES THAT NOT COME UP?!?!?!
This isn't some random, inconsequential fact from last season. It's a HUGE part of Joe Corbin's life experience and psyche, it's as dramatic a hazing ritual as someone joining the Scooby Squad could potentially survive, and it absolutely qualifies him for a place on the team.
HOW DOES THAT NOT COME UP?!?!?!
This isn't some random, inconsequential fact from last season. It's a HUGE part of Joe Corbin's life experience and psyche, it's as dramatic a hazing ritual as someone joining the Scooby Squad could potentially survive, and it absolutely qualifies him for a place on the team.
2. Exposition, Exposition,
Exposition
Exposition is the
bane of every writer's existence, but there's nothing for it.
Sometimes your characters simply have to explain things happening off
screen that bear on the story. The trick is figuring out how to hide
that in a scene so it just feels like good, interesting dialogue.
Not only has the
writing so far this season largely failed abysmally in that regard,
but the writers have added a new, irritating quirk (at least I think it's new;
maybe it was just never so obvious to me before) of having Abbie and
Ichabod consistently exposit for us the very things happening
before our eyes. Or expositing what just happened in a previous
scene, even when there's been no commercial break. A huge quantity
of Abbie-Ichabod airtime is taken up with these unnecessary narration
festivals, and they're not only not hidden, it's like someone
took a highlighter and ran it over them. Even the actors seem bored,
and who can blame them? Almost no character arc or journey is
revealed in these information dumps, and in theory, at least, it
could be (the one attempt in this regard that stands out, in ep. 2, when Ichabod
gets irate about Marcus Collins coming back and then confesses his
terrible “crime,” fell really flat, and was one of Mison's very
rare inauthentic performances).
3. Meet
Ichabod, Abbie's Pet Yorkshire Terrier
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| "I'm house-trained, and I do windows!" |
Tom Mison is doing his (subtle) damnedest to demonstrate that he is
in love with Abbie. Hell, he literally batted his doe eyes at her
during the porch confab. Compared to Abbie, he's like a lovesick
school boy hoping some day the popular girl might let him carry her
books.
Unfortunately, as mentioned above, his ardor in no way seems reciprocated, with the result being that Crane feels less like a lead, a hero, and more like Abbie's pet.
Crane is not Abbie's pet. He is her equal, yet the way the two characters interact it really doesn't feel that way. See, for example, the Ichabod Crane of “Necromancer,” a man of such strength, self-possession. Instead of Abbie treating him like a strong, challenging equal, it feels like she sees him as a thing she has to take care of, and he's kinda, sorta acting like it ("I'll be your Yorkshire Terrier if I can just stay beside you, sit in your lap occasionally"). She's absentmindedly fond of him, he's part of the furniture of her life, but emotionally in no way central to it. And continuing on that note,
Unfortunately, as mentioned above, his ardor in no way seems reciprocated, with the result being that Crane feels less like a lead, a hero, and more like Abbie's pet.
Crane is not Abbie's pet. He is her equal, yet the way the two characters interact it really doesn't feel that way. See, for example, the Ichabod Crane of “Necromancer,” a man of such strength, self-possession. Instead of Abbie treating him like a strong, challenging equal, it feels like she sees him as a thing she has to take care of, and he's kinda, sorta acting like it ("I'll be your Yorkshire Terrier if I can just stay beside you, sit in your lap occasionally"). She's absentmindedly fond of him, he's part of the furniture of her life, but emotionally in no way central to it. And continuing on that note,
4. “The
Opposite of Patriarchy is Not Matriarchy But Fraternity”
Germaine Greer got
it right. As much as I appreciate you writing strong female
characters and putting them in the lead, the men don't always have
to—literally and figuratively—be in the background. What made
Sleepy Hollow sexy from Day One was the partnership between
Ichabod and Abbie. Yes, it's necessary and great to see that Ichabod
et. al. are secure enough in their manhood to let the women handle it
sometimes. But the men are also heroes and characters by whom we
want to be inspired. The balancing act on this front seemed to be
handled much better last season. Kim's disabling of Jenny and Crane in "I, Witness" so that Abbie could be the hero felt clumsy and unbelievable. However, Crane's self-sacrificing fight with Nelson Meyers, and the twist of him being so badly stabbed in "Blood and Fear," were a notable exception to this complaint.
The women don't always have to be in charge. We just need to be
equal partners.
5. What Do I Want?
In Season 1, Ichabod Crane had a passionate, personal goal, quite apart from stopping the Apocalypse: rescue the wife from Purgatory. Similarly, Abbie was propelled by a powerful aim: figure out her purpose in life, and convince herself she's not crazy (and maybe try to rebuild her family while she's at it).
In Season 2, Abbie found out what her purpose was, made lots of progress on the family side of things, but by the end of the season didn't really have a personal goal besides keeping Crane alive (a good and powerful one). Crane's personal goal seemed to be, uh, not piss off both the women in his life simultaneously?
In Season 3, Abbie's goal seems to be "get out of the Witness business." To paraphrase Private Benjamin, she wants to be normal again. Except she never was. Oh, and also her apparent goal this season is diametrically opposed to the woman she was at the end of last season. It's also boring.
Crane's goal seems to be...to get citizenship? Yawn. To stop Abbie from hanging around with handsome, marriageable men? To get new curtains in the dining room?
Where are our passionate, driven heroes from Season 1, and what do they want?
6. The Same Thing Only Different
Why do so many of
our old and new characters keep having the same conversations over
and over again? Abbie and Reynolds have had the same conversation at
least 4 times now (“Just cause I used to be your boyfriend and now
I'm your boss doesn't mean things have to be awkward, especially if I
bring it up every time I see you.”).
Similarly, Joe and Jenny managed to have the same conversation at least 3 times in Ep. 2 (“I want to be part of the Scooby Gang.” “No, Joe. It's not what you're father would have wanted. It's too dangerous.” “But,
Jenny, remember that time I was a wendigo?”).
I'm pretty sure Crane and Ms. Corinth have had the same conversation a few times now (“I want you.” “Citizenship and preservation of the archives first, darling.”). It'sgetting boring.
Similarly, Joe and Jenny managed to have the same conversation at least 3 times in Ep. 2 (“I want to be part of the Scooby Gang.” “No, Joe. It's not what you're father would have wanted. It's too dangerous.” “
I'm pretty sure Crane and Ms. Corinth have had the same conversation a few times now (“I want you.” “Citizenship and preservation of the archives first, darling.”). It's
7. Just Die Already
Sleepy Hollow
has given us a lot of memorable, charming guest characters, even for
day-players. Last season's notables included Caroline, the mother
and son who hosted Henry at their hotel, even the store clerk from
“Paradise Lost,” and the librarian and hardware salesman in
“Awakenings.” Hell, all the characters written for day-players
in “Awakenings” were great.
From Season 1,
Arthur Bernard, Colonel Tarlton, and Rutledge in “The Sin-Eater”
stand-out, Jenny's bartender friend was memorable, and the Hessians
in both the “Lesser Key of Solomon” and “Necromancer” were
great. The Roanoke colony folks we met seemed like actual humans,
and the witches from Katrina's coven, in “The Golem,” while far
from human, were fabulously creepy. I still love that old warlock, Rev. Knapp.
 |
| Miss you, Art. |
This season's guest characters, on the
other hand, have been largely non-existent. Most of those who get
killed, from Paul Williams to Two Douchy Guys Shooting Cans in
the National Park, have little to no time to help us know who they
are, or why we should care about them at all, and tend to walk onto
the screen with “Victim #Whatever” taped to their heads.
The lowest point for me this season,
though, has to have been C. Thomas Howell as FBI Agent #427. The
writing AND acting of that character were so atrocious I actually did
a Snoopy happy dance when he died. Couldn't have happened to a more
irritating non-character.
One notable exception to this pattern
was the villain in “Blood and Fear.” Nelson Meyers was
well-acted, and almost fleshed out.
8. “Mostly Harmless”
My biggest complaint about the show
thus far can best be summed up in Ford Prefect's conclusion after
fifteen years spent studying Earth: it's mostly harmless. It feels
like y'all are treading so carefully for fear of offending anyone
that you feel stymied to break out and run with the story. I'm not
making a case for Sleepy Hollow being offensive, but more
risk-taking, more passion, please, --for the love of God--is essential.
One of my readers said to me today,
“Sleepy Hollow is making me sleepy.” That's more tragic to me than everything that was done to Katrina in 2 miserable years.
