Saving Sleepy Hollow: An Open Letter to Bob Orci

May 9, 2016

Dear Roberto Orci:

Thank you for inviting Sleepy Hollow's fans to pitch ideas to you. Since this isn't a pitch meeting, please consider this our virtual handshake. It's a tremendous honor to (virtually) meet you. I've been a big fan of yours and Mr. Kurtzman's work for a long time.

It's very kind of you to ask what one of us who has been critiquing and complaining would pitch, given the opportunity, and to do so without an ounce of snark. First, I just need to say that I know I am not “in the room,” and never have been. I can imagine, but do not know, the tremendous and various pressures, voices, notes, restrictions, egos, and politics one must be navigate getting a single episode on screen. I also can't know if anything I say has already been said by a writer on staff, likely at length and with far more grace, subtlety and wit, only to have said pitch rejected for good reasons about which I know nothing.

Thus, with the caveat that, like Jon Snow, I know nothing:

How to Not Only Save Sleepy Hollow But Get Its Ratings Up Again

I. The first order of business must be to undo the damage caused by the S3 finale—to the story, to the show, and to the relationship between the writers and producers and many—if not most—of the fans. To that end I request the following:

A. Recant and repent of the notion that the role of Witness is recyclable in a new character/ actor's body.

From Day One, the show has stated—and reinforced almost hourly--that the two Witnesses must stay together to succeed and survive. If nothing else is canon, this is. At no time was the idea of Witness being a role that could be filled by a person other than Abbie in the present day, as co-Witness with Crane, explored or foreshadowed.

The idea that Crane and Abbie may not have been the first Witnesses was certainly hinted at by the ancient tablet Crane discovered, though a prison employee did say that the Witnesses represented looked a lot like (present-day) Crane and Abbie. The idea of there being Witnesses in the past was reinforced by Pandora and The Hidden One at times in S3.

But never was the idea that Crane-as-Witness could work, and be effective, independent of Abbie-as-Witness even slightly suggested. And a good thing, too, since logic dictates that, were this the case, he would have been working as a Witness in the 18^th Century with whomever that century's manifestation of the-Witness-still-known-as-Abbie was. Since he didn't, and indeed could not even be made aware of his role as Witness until the other Witness “appeared,” it does not follow that he can just find a handy substitute when it's time to let an actor go.

The notion that a Witness' “eternal soul” just keeps getting recycled into new people's bodies is further problematic for a number of reasons.

1. What happens to the soul of the person already in the body of the person who becomes a Witness? Do they merge? Did that person not have a soul before the Witness showed up?

2. What happens to the soul of Abbie Mills-qua-Abbie Mills, or did she not have one of her own? Do Witnesses never get to reconcile with the dead loved ones from their latest incarnation?

3. Is Crane going to raise a new Witness from infancy?

4. All souls, by definition, are eternal, as opposed to the things they walk around in, which are subject to the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Not sure what the writers meant, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't it, and I ain't gonna believe nothing they say if it don't make so sense.

B. Recant and repent of the insulting notion that Abbie was just another partner of Crane's here to help move him to the next stage of his journey.

This was never the premise of the show. The considerably larger viewer base in S1 did not tune in to watch a brilliant, amazingly talented, brave and strong black woman help a white man fulfill his promise, no matter how cute his accent is. The devoted fans who stuck it out until the finale of S3 absolutely did not. Please don't insult our intelligence, along with all black women everywhere.

C. Recant and repent of the killing of Abbie.

Despite the mad virtuosity of the show's premise, Sleepy Hollow's magic resides above all else in the relationship and chemistry between Abbie (Nicole Beharie) and Crane (Tom Mison). As you well know, people watch the first time for the premise; they return, episode after episode, year after year, for the characters, and the fine actors who portray them.

I don't know what happened to make a young actor co-starring in a network series decide she no longer wanted to do that anymore, and I don't want to know. What I do know is that her seeming departure from the show is not irreversible and must be reversed. If she, like Mison, feels overwhelmed at the quantity of lines she has to learn and the show's pacing, figure out ways to give the leads more down time. Yes, their partnership has to be at the center, but your supporting actors have shown themselves more than capable of handling well-written B-stories to give the stars a breather. If there are personality clashes, work them out. Y'all are adults; I have every confidence in you. If there are contract negotiation issues, mediate. I do understand that this is the hardest part of your job and sucks ass at times. I understand that, I empathize with it, but I'm not able to accept it as an excuse. Work it out, or let the show go.

I don't care if you Jon-Snow us. In fact, I'd recommend it, strongly. “This was all planned, etc., etc.”

D. Lose the suits, or else make damned sure this new direction is worth it.

At this point, we have no idea why Ichabod was just abducted by Federal agents, but we're given leave to believe by Betsy, Washington, and Ezra “Mystical-Black-Man” Mills that Crane is meant to be the head of some super-secret supernatural crime fighting organization.

Why?

Seriously, why is this necessary?

On a related note, compare and contrast the very end of S2 and the very end of S3.

End of S2: Four warriors, including two black women and one black man, are united in their determination to fight the good fight. They are not dressed in uniforms. They are mostly dressed in black, and if anything, could be best categorized as guerrillas.

End of S3: Our Last Witness Standing, a white man, is being abducted by Other White Men, in suits and a limousine.

The end of S2 was the way you launch an outstanding and progressive S3, or end a series.

The end of S3 was the way you launch a (yawn) spin-off of (yawn)well-worn territory starring (yawn) a white man (granted, this particular white man doesn't really ever inspire yawns, but you take my point). It's also the way you kill a show.

Now, of course, the show can't recant anything, short of “it was all a dream.” Since we all had that approach to story-resolution beaten out of us by the seventh grade, what, then, as you so rightly asked, can be done?

Resurrect Abbie

You guys don't need anyone's advice on how to do this. Irving's resurrection was really never adequately explained, and no one cared. You're the experts on resurrecting the Obviously Dead. In fact it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest to know Benioff and Weiss called you for advice on bringing Snow back.

But, if you're really taking suggestions:

A. The premiere of S4 could find Jenny learning that she is to be the new Witness (despite Campbell's protestations to the contrary) and feeling inadequate to the task, or learning for some personal history/supernatural reason that she can't do it. Jenny's proven herself an impressive witch/medicine person, without training, the past few seasons. She managed to conjure her mother's spirit. Maybe she could somehow conjure Abbie's spirit and this could lead to a something-something-phlebotinum-something which brings Abbie's missing corpus delecti home in one piece.

B. I mentioned this before, but the rogue angel Orion really seemed to have a thing for Abbie. Now, granted, Orion has some unresolved issues with the Witnesses, so he's not going to be super enthusiastic about helping them. But perhaps an A story which brings him back to work, reluctantly, with Crane could lead to his bartering his freedom from heaven for Abbie's? She could return as an angel (capable of having sex, please) or as a human.

C. Surely some shard of that box exists from which Abbie's body and soul (ala Headless') could be summoned? Have we lost the phlebotinum which makes it possible to journey to the Catacombs? I can't remember.

D. GoT crossover: let Melisandre do it.

E. Hell, at this point, I'd even take “this was all a bad dream” and reset to the end of S1 or S2 over Abbie's permanent demise.

Obliterate Utterly the Idea of Witness Recyclability, Abbie's Work Being Complete, and Abbie's Job Being Primarily to Move Crane Along

The problem here, of course, isn't resurrecting Abbie, but undoing the fine work M. Raven Metzner did in the finale convincing us she's really dead and trying to frame that like it's a good thing/set up the show's new direction.

Unlike Jon Snow, Abbie actually got to see an afterlife, and even reunite with her former mentor, August Corbin. Corbin told her in no uncertain terms that she, Abbie Mills, is done as a character. Abbie then went on to tell Crane in no uncertain terms that she, Abbie Mills, is dead, dead, dead. She did such a good job of convincing him she's dead he finally got over his seventh grade shyness and asked her to the dance kissed her hand. She even went further to tell (and show him through her body language) that she is not only at peace with this fact but kinda doing emotional cartwheels over it.

So, at the very least we have to address the fact that a) whether Abbie died or not she spent time with people who are dead and as a result told Crane she's dead, b) the Greater Plan wants her Witness soul for someone else now and c) Abbie was happy being dead.

Could it be that, even when she was hanging with the Corbins, Abbie wasn't actually dead, at least not permanently? Crane hung out with Abbie, seemingly a dead person, for a while and he wasn't dead. How do we know that Abbie, too, might just have had a brief visit to eternity? 

How do we know that Abbie wasn't absorbed into the box and then released from it, whole and safe, but perhaps unconscious and minus a memory, when the box exploded? After all, Headless was in the box, presumably, when it exploded the first time, and he came out of it just fine after it was remade.

Could it be that Abbie was just being played in the afterlife by some nasty demons, some minions of Moloch's boss, the Bigger Big Bad, posing as the Corbins? And, being so played, she inadvertently conveyed to Crane things that just aren't true so that he and Jenny wouldn't try to bring her back. Because of course, they would try, if they have reason to believe she shouldn't be dead, or doesn't want to be dead, and the Bigger Big Bad of S4 does not want that.

Isn't it likely, that, if Abbie learned she had been played, and/or learned that she had a LOT more work to do, as Abbie-Mills-the-Witness, her seeming peace at being dead would evaporate?

Keep the Suits in the Background Where They Belong

Obviously, the Suits are bad guys, working for the Bigger Big Bad, in league with other nasties of the Apocalypse. Jenny, Frank, and Resurrected Abbie could help rescue Crane from their clutches, and then fight said baddies all season? I'm totally fine with that, but please do not make this weird, unnecessary thing a focus of the show's direction.

II. Now, for the second order of business: getting the S1 magic back, and improving the ratings.

A. On Theme

As we all know, Buffy the Vampire Slayer wasn't about a teenage girl who defeats vampires, nor was it about the constant tension between duty and the life one wants to live. That was the premise, the franchise. What it was about was adolescents confronting and defeating the traumas (or demons) of adolescence.

By the same token, Sleepy Hollow isn't about two people trying to stop the apocalypse. It's about (or at least it was, first season) two people working together, learning from each other, developing a relationship of profound trust and love across seemingly impossible barriers, to confront demons—literal and figurative—from their past, defeat them, forgive them, or at least better understand them, so they can then be free to move forward. The entire first season underscored this deeper premise.

And then, starting in S2 it got lost, returning hither and yon through the past two seasons, and then was dragged out of semi-retirement, quite clumsily, to help Abbie make sense of her death in the S3 finale. When Abbie tells Crane and the audience that she reconciled with Daniel (a relationship to which the audience wasn't privy and doesn't care about), yadda, yadda, she's telling him and the audience that she's dealt with all her past demons—her reason for existing as a character—and therefore it's time to move on.

One of the (many) problems with this is that the waters have gotten so muddied on this theme since S1 that no one remembers this is what the show is about. More to the point, Daniel was the least significant of Abbie's unfinished business, and she has at least one very serious demon remaining: fear of intimacy with someone she not only loves but needs, the demon the audience most longed to see her defeat. No, Crane, her life has not fallen into place; it's fallen into oblivion.

Returning, clearly and consistently, to this deeper theme, not with one-dimensional (General Howe) folks from their past with whom their unfinished business isn't viscerally powerful, but to demons who really grab the characters by the throat with their unfinished business and force them to grow, is essential.

On Character

The Leads

Crane needs to be heroic more consistently. Funny he can be--witty, charmingly out of touch, wise, not silly. (Cooking for Abbie and singing opera while doing so is not silly; it's crazy hot). We also need more of powerful, confident, competent Captain Crane, not just in the past, but in the present.

Abbie needs to soften up a little. She had a much wider range of tone and emotion in S1, it seemed. She also used to have more fun and be funny. She has plenty of issues to resolve with dear-old-Dad, so it's not like there aren't soft spots there to exploit.

Also, Abbie is your audience. A) You don't kill your audience, and B) your audience should still consistently be having its mind at least somewhat blown.

#Crabbie

Yeah, I know that one didn't stick, but I still really like it.

Look, I don't know what show you all thought you were creating, but, together with Nicole Beharie and Tom Mison, you co-created a show about two people who are not only best friends and partners, but deeply, passionately in love. Sorry if that wasn't your intention, but that's what happened. And it's one the reasons people loved the show in S1.

Their romance and friendship somewhat derailed in S2, Abbie's and Crane's partnership needed to be strengthened or at least placed back at the center of the show in S3. By the back end of S3, that was happening, and the flirtation and romance was seeping back in. And then the writers killed Abbie, as you do (if you want to commit series suicide).

What worked in S1 was the tender, sparky, sparkly relationship between two people as different as night and day, and as necessary to the other. What made their relationship beloved is the maturity, trust, and mutual support they give one another. They really are equals. They really are adults. And they are still really into each other.

You can't recreate that with a new character, and not having it at all ruins the show.

Why can't you create it with a new character? Who would find it difficult to act like they're in love with Tom Mison? Fair. But you can't create it with a new character because the old character, Abigail Mills, is and has clearly been the love of Ichabod's life for the past three years. We don't want him with anyone else. We won't believe him with anyone else (see, for example, Katrina, Zoe, etc.). Even Sophie, with whom I'll admit, he had pretty hot chemistry, isn't part of the canon. Jenny wouldn't work in this capacity because they're practically brother and sister at this point so that would just be creepy. And God help the Brand New Character and Actor unfortunate enough to be blessed with the soul of the Witness-that-Used-to-Be-Abbie-Mills. What's left of your audience will go into full-scale revolt.

As for doing away with the sparky relationship piece, that's pretty much doing away with Sleepy Hollow, so, please, don't.

So, What's Possible?

As you know, there are a lot of ways forward with a love affair that don't have to destroy the show. The relationship could be

*not consummated but heated up a lot more, ala Moonlighting, with the characters differences and repressed sexual attraction providing more humor and tension;

*consummated and the humor and challenges of committed love explored, ala Bones and Catastrophe;

*consummated and then broken off, a “big mistake,” though they obviously belong together, ala The X-Files;

*haltingly taken forward a step, then back two, then forward another, then back, ala real life.

The Supporting Characters

Again, I don't know what the issue was with Orlando Jones and I don't care. Just bring him back. Danny's nice, he's just not a very interesting character. Sophie's great, but aside from her partnership with Crane in “One Life,” she hasn't really had a chance to develop as a character. Joe was great, but he's dead, for no apparent reason (speaking of folks who could use a resurrection). None of these characters has been around from the beginning, so they can't help ground the show in its original mythology and power. If you want to get the magic of S1 back, you need at least the core cast of S1. Frank was core cast, and we need his strength of established character back. Moreover, he was really fun.

Take a look at the last scene of S2. Look at that team. This is the team we need to move forward. Sophie and Danny can be part of the team, but we need our core. Ask any trainer: you're useless without a strong core.

The Villains

Consistent with the S1-established theme, the villains, their grievances, and their episode and season-long quests must have a deep, emotional and conflicted personal relationship with Crane and/or Abbie. They must be demons of our heroes, with whom they have issues to resolve. How much more fun might Danny have been had he been killed, then became a Horseman of the Apocalypse with whom Abbie hadn't resolved her relationship-issues?

Just hating your parents, as Jeremy/War did in S2, without having a pro-active objective (beyond making them suffer) is boring and rings false. All adolescents, which is what Jeremy was developmentally, hate their parents. That's not a goal. The whole point of a human villain is complex human motivation, and while John Noble did his damnedest to convey a desire for love, parental acceptance and family with his acting, he wasn't terribly well supported by the writing.

This last season's attempt at a recurring human villain from our heroes' past, General Howe, fell flat despite some awesome zombie fight scenes and Nicholas Guest's fine work. Howe failed to inspire the horror of either Abraham or Jeremy because Crane never really loved him/had an emotional connect to him, and the attempts at giving Crane unresolved issues with Howe (his non-existent betrayal of his comrades, his failure to kill Howe) weren't able to overcome this.

Pandora, and especially the Hidden One, were largely static and uninspiring because they had no skin in the Abbie-Crane game.

Please give us juicy villains with skin in the game. We still have (at least) two more Horsemen we haven't met yet, and with Joe Corbin, August Corbin, Andy Brooks, Mama Mills, Crane's Dad, Jeremy and Katrina all in the Afterlife, the supernatural human resources department for apocalyptic mayhem is looking rich.

Finally, I know the CGI he requires is expensive, but we really need Headless back on a regular basis. And Abraham. This is Sleepy Hollow, after all.

On Personal Arcs

In S1, Crane's was saving his wife from Purgatory; Abbie's was reconciling with her sister. Since then, both lead characters have been sorely lacking a clear personal, passionate objective beyond stopping the apocalypse. What were their personal goals in S2? Was Crane's to reconcile with Katrina? If so, he was rarely active in that quest. Was Abbie's to hold onto Crane? Uh, maybe? In S3, Crane's objective seemed to be to successfully court Abbie (that went well). Abbie's seemed to be to...get ready to die?

Our characters need goals—clearly defined, real, personal, goals. Something to fight for, besides the well-being of planet Earth.

On Plot Arcs

Remember the apocalypse? The original one, from The Book of the Revelation? What was wrong with that? Why was it abandoned? I have nothing against venturing into other spiritual traditions on this matter, provided an equally strong and consistent framework is established before being completely rewritten. The Christian version of the apocalypse provided a consistent framework, with a rich mythology far from exhausted, and had the benefit of being somewhat familiar to much of your audience. It's hardly limiting, given that you guys didn't remotely stick to the text anyway. Hell, you changed the Big Bad of the story from God to Moloch! Speaking of which, so what if Moloch is dead? Let's say he was never really the source of the Horsemen anyway; maybe Moloch was just middle-management?

When you stick with one framework (e.g. the American Revolution, the Book of the Revelation) you can mess with it absurdly and we'll come along for the ride because we have a home to come back to, something solid to reference, and maybe even some investment in the original mythology. But jumping all over the place into and out of traditions unfamiliar to much of your audience, or created wholesale on the fly and underdeveloped, you make it really difficult for the audience to track, care, and be afraid of the consequences to our heroes.

(As a reader of mine said to me recently, “They created a show about two Witnesses stopping the apocalypse from The Book of the Revelation, and now they've done away with one of the Witnesses and the Apocalypse. Why are we still here?”).

On Tone

S1, and S2 to a large extent, were dark—visually as well as tonally. Filming by day is great from the perspective of allowing your cast and crew to get a decent night's sleep, but terrible from a horror perspective. Daylight is just not scary.

Also, remember when Crane was cranky and broody and depressed? That moodiness lent an urgency and tense passion to his work in S1. While it's nice to see the lad smiling and happy on occasion, it makes no sense that he would be so in Season 3, having just killed his wife and son, and even less after the death of his partner/soul mate Abbie Mills!

Dark can be fun. This is, at least in part, a horror show after all. I love Tom Mison's smile, but I miss Cranky Crane.

If you've made it this far you deserve an award, a pat on the back, or at least a drink. Sorry I can't give you any of those from here, but thank you, deeply. 

If you're bringing Abbie back, I do have ideas for actual episodes I'd be honored to pitch to you and the other producers in person.

Best of luck with Sleepy Hollow, and all your other projects.

Yours respectfully,

Val D. Phillips