May 9, 2016
Dear Roberto Orci:
Thank you for inviting Sleepy
Hollow's fans to pitch ideas to you. Since this isn't a pitch
meeting, please consider this our virtual handshake. It's a
tremendous honor to (virtually) meet you. I've been a big fan of
yours and Mr. Kurtzman's work for a long time.
It's very kind of you to ask what one
of us who has been critiquing and complaining would pitch, given the
opportunity, and to do so without an ounce of snark. First, I just
need to say that I know I am not “in the room,” and never have
been. I can imagine, but do not know, the tremendous and various
pressures, voices, notes, restrictions, egos, and politics one must
be navigate getting a single episode on screen. I also can't know if
anything I say has already been said by a writer on staff, likely at
length and with far more grace, subtlety and wit, only to have said
pitch rejected for good reasons about which I know nothing.
Thus, with the caveat that, like Jon
Snow, I know nothing:
How to Not Only Save Sleepy
Hollow But Get Its Ratings Up Again
I.
The first order of business must be to undo the damage
caused by the S3 finale—to the story, to the show, and to the
relationship between the writers and producers and many—if not
most—of the fans. To that end I request the following:
A.
Recant and repent of the notion that the role of Witness is
recyclable in a new character/ actor's body.
From Day One, the show has stated—and
reinforced almost hourly--that the two Witnesses must stay together
to succeed and survive. If nothing else is canon, this is. At no
time was the idea of Witness being a role that could be filled by a
person other than Abbie in the present day, as co-Witness with Crane,
explored or foreshadowed.
The idea that Crane and Abbie may not
have been the first Witnesses was certainly hinted at by the ancient
tablet Crane discovered, though a prison employee did say that the
Witnesses represented looked a lot like (present-day) Crane and
Abbie. The idea of there being Witnesses in the past was reinforced
by Pandora and The Hidden One at times in S3.
But never was the idea that
Crane-as-Witness could work, and be effective, independent of
Abbie-as-Witness even slightly suggested. And a good thing, too,
since logic dictates that, were this the case, he would have been
working as a Witness in the 18th Century
with whomever that century's manifestation of
the-Witness-still-known-as-Abbie was. Since he didn't, and
indeed could not even be made aware of his role as Witness until the
other Witness “appeared,” it does not follow that he can just
find a handy substitute when it's time to let an actor go.
The notion that a Witness' “eternal
soul” just keeps getting recycled into new people's bodies is
further problematic for a number of reasons.
1. What happens to the soul of the
person already in the body of the person who becomes a Witness? Do
they merge? Did that person not have a soul before the Witness
showed up?
2. What happens to the soul of Abbie
Mills-qua-Abbie Mills, or did she not have one of her own? Do
Witnesses never get to reconcile with the dead loved ones from their
latest incarnation?
3. Is Crane going to raise a new
Witness from infancy?
4. All souls, by definition, are
eternal, as opposed to the things they walk around in, which are
subject to the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Not sure what the
writers meant, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't it, and I ain't gonna
believe nothing they say if it don't make so sense.
B.
Recant and repent of
the insulting notion that Abbie was just another partner of Crane's
here to help move him to the next stage of his journey.
This was never the premise of
the show. The considerably larger viewer base in S1 did not tune in
to watch a brilliant, amazingly talented, brave and strong black
woman help a white man fulfill his promise, no matter how cute his
accent is. The devoted fans who stuck it out until the finale of S3
absolutely did not. Please don't insult our
intelligence, along with all black women everywhere.
C. Recant
and repent of the killing of Abbie.
Despite the mad virtuosity of the
show's premise, Sleepy Hollow's magic resides above all else
in the relationship and chemistry between Abbie (Nicole Beharie) and
Crane (Tom Mison). As you well know, people watch the first time for
the premise; they return, episode after episode, year after year, for
the characters, and the fine actors who portray them.
I don't know what happened to make a
young actor co-starring in a network series decide she no longer
wanted to do that anymore, and I don't want to know. What I do know
is that her seeming departure from the show is not
irreversible and must be reversed. If she, like Mison, feels
overwhelmed at the quantity of lines she has to learn and the show's
pacing, figure out ways to give the leads more down time. Yes, their
partnership has to be at the center, but your supporting actors have
shown themselves more than capable of handling well-written B-stories
to give the stars a breather. If there are personality clashes, work
them out. Y'all are adults; I have every confidence in you. If
there are contract negotiation issues, mediate. I do understand that
this is the hardest part of your job and sucks ass at times. I
understand that, I empathize with it, but I'm not able to accept it
as an excuse. Work it out, or let the show go.
I don't care if you Jon-Snow us. In
fact, I'd recommend it, strongly. “This was all planned, etc.,
etc.”
D. Lose the suits, or else make
damned sure this new direction is worth it.
At this point, we have no idea why
Ichabod was just abducted by Federal agents, but we're given leave to
believe by Betsy, Washington, and Ezra “Mystical-Black-Man” Mills
that Crane is meant to be the head of some super-secret supernatural
crime fighting organization.
Why?
Seriously, why is this necessary?
On a related note, compare and
contrast the very end of S2 and the very end of S3.
End of S2: Four warriors, including
two black women and one black man, are united in their determination
to fight the good fight. They are not dressed in uniforms. They are
mostly dressed in black, and if anything, could be best categorized
as guerrillas.
End of S3: Our Last Witness Standing,
a white man, is being abducted by Other White Men, in suits and a
limousine.
The end of S2 was the way you launch
an outstanding and progressive S3, or end a series.
The end of S3 was the way you launch a
(yawn) spin-off of (yawn)well-worn territory starring (yawn) a white
man (granted, this particular white man doesn't really ever inspire
yawns, but you take my point). It's also the way you kill a show.
Now, of course, the show can't
recant anything, short of “it was all a dream.” Since we
all had that approach to story-resolution beaten out of us by the
seventh grade, what, then, as you so rightly asked, can be done?
Resurrect Abbie
You guys don't need anyone's advice on
how to do this. Irving's resurrection was really never adequately
explained, and no one cared. You're the experts on resurrecting the
Obviously Dead. In fact it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest to
know Benioff and Weiss called you for advice on bringing Snow back.
But, if you're really taking
suggestions:
A. The premiere of S4 could find
Jenny learning that she is to be the new Witness (despite Campbell's
protestations to the contrary) and feeling inadequate to the task, or
learning for some personal history/supernatural reason that she can't
do it. Jenny's proven herself an impressive witch/medicine person,
without training, the past few seasons. She managed to conjure her
mother's spirit. Maybe she could somehow conjure Abbie's spirit and
this could lead to a something-something-phlebotinum-something which
brings Abbie's missing corpus delecti home in one piece.
B. I mentioned this before, but the
rogue angel Orion really seemed to have a thing for Abbie. Now,
granted, Orion has some unresolved issues with the Witnesses, so he's
not going to be super enthusiastic about helping them. But perhaps
an A story which brings him back to work, reluctantly, with Crane
could lead to his bartering his freedom from heaven for Abbie's? She
could return as an angel (capable of having sex, please) or as a
human.
C. Surely some shard of that box
exists from which Abbie's body and soul (ala Headless') could be
summoned? Have we lost the phlebotinum which makes it possible to
journey to the Catacombs? I can't remember.
D. GoT crossover: let Melisandre do
it.
E. Hell, at this point, I'd even
take “this was all a bad dream” and reset to the end of S1 or
S2 over Abbie's permanent demise.
Obliterate Utterly the Idea of
Witness Recyclability, Abbie's Work Being Complete, and Abbie's Job
Being Primarily to Move Crane Along
The problem here, of course, isn't
resurrecting Abbie, but undoing the fine work M. Raven Metzner did in
the finale convincing us she's really dead and trying to frame that
like it's a good thing/set up the show's new direction.
Unlike Jon Snow, Abbie actually got to
see an afterlife, and even reunite with her former mentor, August
Corbin. Corbin told her in no uncertain terms that she, Abbie Mills,
is done as a character. Abbie then went on to tell Crane in no
uncertain terms that she, Abbie Mills, is dead, dead, dead. She did
such a good job of convincing him she's dead he finally got over his
seventh grade shyness and asked her to the dance
kissed her hand. She even went further to tell (and show him through
her body language) that she is not only at peace with this fact but
kinda doing emotional cartwheels over it.
So, at the very least we have to
address the fact that a) whether Abbie died or not she spent time
with people who are dead and as a result told Crane she's dead, b)
the Greater Plan wants her Witness soul for someone else now and c)
Abbie was happy being dead.
Could it be that, even when she was
hanging with the Corbins, Abbie wasn't actually dead, at least not
permanently? Crane hung out with Abbie, seemingly a dead person, for
a while and he wasn't dead. How do we know that Abbie, too, might
just have had a brief visit to eternity?
How do we know that Abbie
wasn't absorbed into the box and then released from it, whole and
safe, but perhaps unconscious and minus a memory, when the box
exploded? After all, Headless was in the box, presumably, when it
exploded the first time, and he came out of it just fine after it was
remade.
Could it be that Abbie was just being
played in the afterlife by some nasty demons, some minions of
Moloch's boss, the Bigger Big Bad, posing as the Corbins? And, being
so played, she inadvertently conveyed to Crane things that just
aren't true so that he and Jenny wouldn't try to bring her back.
Because of course, they would try, if they have reason to believe she
shouldn't be dead, or doesn't want to be dead, and the
Bigger Big Bad of S4 does not want that.
Isn't it likely, that, if Abbie
learned she had been played, and/or learned that she had a LOT more
work to do, as Abbie-Mills-the-Witness, her seeming peace at being
dead would evaporate?
Keep the Suits in the Background
Where They Belong
Obviously, the Suits are bad guys,
working for the Bigger Big Bad, in league with other nasties of the
Apocalypse. Jenny, Frank, and Resurrected Abbie could help rescue
Crane from their clutches, and then fight said baddies all season?
I'm totally fine with that, but please do not make this weird,
unnecessary thing a focus of the show's direction.
II. Now, for the second order of
business: getting the S1 magic back, and improving the ratings.
A. On Theme
As we all know, Buffy the Vampire
Slayer wasn't about a teenage girl who defeats vampires, nor was
it about the constant tension between duty and the life one wants to
live. That was the premise, the franchise. What it was about
was adolescents confronting and defeating the traumas (or demons) of
adolescence.
By the same token, Sleepy Hollow
isn't about two people trying to stop the apocalypse. It's about (or
at least it was, first season) two people working together, learning
from each other, developing a relationship of profound trust and love
across seemingly impossible barriers, to confront demons—literal
and figurative—from their past, defeat them, forgive them, or at
least better understand them, so they can then be free to move
forward. The entire first season underscored this deeper premise.
And then, starting in S2 it got lost,
returning hither and yon through the past two seasons, and then was dragged out of semi-retirement, quite clumsily, to help Abbie make
sense of her death in the S3 finale. When Abbie tells Crane and the
audience that she reconciled with Daniel (a relationship to which the
audience wasn't privy and doesn't care about), yadda, yadda, she's
telling him and the audience that she's dealt with all her past
demons—her reason for existing as a character—and therefore it's
time to move on.
One of the (many) problems with this
is that the waters have gotten so muddied on this theme since S1 that
no one remembers this is what the show is about. More to the point,
Daniel was the least significant of Abbie's unfinished business, and
she has at least one very serious demon remaining: fear of
intimacy with someone she not only loves but needs, the demon the
audience most longed to see her defeat. No, Crane, her life has not
fallen into place; it's fallen into oblivion.
Returning, clearly and consistently,
to this deeper theme, not with one-dimensional (General Howe) folks
from their past with whom their unfinished business isn't viscerally
powerful, but to demons who really grab the characters by the throat
with their unfinished business and force them to grow, is essential.
On Character
The Leads
Crane
needs to be heroic more consistently. Funny he can be--witty,
charmingly out of touch, wise, not silly. (Cooking for Abbie and
singing opera while doing so is not silly; it's crazy hot). We also
need more of powerful, confident, competent Captain Crane, not
just in the past, but in the present.
Abbie needs to soften up a little.
She had a much wider range of tone and emotion in S1, it seemed. She
also used to have more fun and be funny. She has plenty of issues to
resolve with dear-old-Dad, so it's not like there aren't soft spots
there to exploit.
Also, Abbie is your audience. A) You
don't kill your audience, and B) your audience should still
consistently be having its mind at least somewhat blown.
#Crabbie
Yeah, I know that one didn't stick,
but I still really like it.
Look, I don't know what show you all
thought you were creating, but, together with Nicole Beharie and Tom
Mison, you co-created a show about two people who are not only best
friends and partners, but deeply, passionately in love. Sorry if that
wasn't your intention, but that's what happened. And it's one the
reasons people loved the show in S1.
Their romance and friendship somewhat
derailed in S2, Abbie's and Crane's partnership needed to be
strengthened or at least placed back at the center of the show in S3.
By the back end of S3, that was happening, and the flirtation and
romance was seeping back in. And then the writers killed Abbie, as
you do (if you want to commit series suicide).
What worked in S1 was the tender,
sparky, sparkly relationship between two people as different as
night and day, and as necessary to the other. What made their
relationship beloved is the maturity, trust, and mutual support they
give one another. They really are equals. They really are adults.
And they are still really into each other.
You can't recreate that with a new
character, and not having it at all ruins the show.
Why can't you create it with a new
character? Who would find it difficult to act like they're in love
with Tom Mison? Fair. But you can't create it with a new character
because the old character, Abigail Mills, is and has clearly been the
love of Ichabod's life for the past three years. We don't want
him with anyone else. We won't believe him with anyone else
(see, for example, Katrina, Zoe, etc.). Even Sophie, with whom I'll
admit, he had pretty hot chemistry, isn't part of the canon. Jenny
wouldn't work in this capacity because they're practically brother
and sister at this point so that would just be creepy. And God help
the Brand New Character and Actor unfortunate enough to be blessed
with the soul of the Witness-that-Used-to-Be-Abbie-Mills. What's left of your audience will go into full-scale revolt.
As for doing away with the sparky
relationship piece, that's pretty much doing away with Sleepy
Hollow, so, please, don't.
So, What's Possible?
As you know, there are a lot of ways
forward with a love affair that don't have to destroy the show. The
relationship could be
*not consummated but heated up a lot
more, ala Moonlighting, with
the characters differences and repressed sexual attraction providing
more humor and tension;
*consummated and the humor and
challenges of committed love explored, ala Bones and
Catastrophe;
*consummated and then broken off, a
“big mistake,” though they obviously belong together, ala The
X-Files;
*haltingly taken forward a step, then
back two, then forward another, then back, ala real life.
The Supporting Characters
Again, I don't know what the issue was
with Orlando Jones and I don't care. Just bring him back. Danny's
nice, he's just not a very interesting character. Sophie's great,
but aside from her partnership with Crane in “One Life,” she
hasn't really had a chance to develop as a character. Joe was great,
but he's dead, for no apparent reason (speaking of folks who could
use a resurrection). None of these characters has been around from
the beginning, so they can't help ground the show in its original
mythology and power. If you want to get the magic of S1 back, you
need at least the core cast of S1. Frank was core cast, and we need
his strength of established character back. Moreover, he was really
fun.
Take a look at the last scene of S2.
Look at that team. This is the team we need to move forward. Sophie
and Danny can be part of the team, but we need our core. Ask any
trainer: you're useless without a strong core.
The Villains
Consistent
with the S1-established theme, the villains, their grievances, and
their episode and season-long quests must
have a deep, emotional and conflicted personal relationship
with Crane and/or Abbie. They must be demons of our heroes, with
whom they have issues to resolve. How much more fun might Danny have
been had he been killed, then became a Horseman of the Apocalypse
with whom Abbie hadn't resolved her relationship-issues?
Just hating your parents, as
Jeremy/War did in S2, without having a pro-active objective (beyond
making them suffer) is boring and rings false. All adolescents,
which is what Jeremy was developmentally, hate their parents. That's
not a goal. The whole point of a human villain is complex human
motivation, and while John Noble did his damnedest to convey a desire
for love, parental acceptance and family with his acting, he wasn't
terribly well supported by the writing.
This last season's attempt at a
recurring human villain from our heroes' past, General Howe, fell
flat despite some awesome zombie fight scenes and Nicholas Guest's
fine work. Howe failed to inspire the horror of either Abraham or
Jeremy because Crane never really loved him/had an emotional connect
to him, and the attempts at giving Crane unresolved issues with Howe
(his non-existent betrayal of his comrades, his failure to kill Howe)
weren't able to overcome this.
Pandora, and especially the Hidden
One, were largely static and uninspiring because they had no skin in
the Abbie-Crane game.
Please give us juicy villains with
skin in the game. We still have (at least) two more Horsemen we
haven't met yet, and with Joe Corbin, August Corbin, Andy Brooks,
Mama Mills, Crane's Dad, Jeremy and Katrina all in the Afterlife, the
supernatural human resources department for apocalyptic mayhem is
looking rich.
Finally, I know the CGI he requires is
expensive, but we really need Headless back on a regular basis. And
Abraham. This is Sleepy Hollow, after all.
On
Personal Arcs
In S1, Crane's was saving his wife
from Purgatory; Abbie's was reconciling with her sister. Since then,
both lead characters have been sorely lacking a clear personal,
passionate objective beyond stopping the apocalypse. What were their
personal goals in S2? Was Crane's to reconcile with Katrina? If so,
he was rarely active in that quest. Was Abbie's to hold onto Crane?
Uh, maybe? In S3, Crane's objective seemed to be to successfully
court Abbie (that went well). Abbie's seemed to be to...get ready to
die?
Our characters need goals—clearly
defined, real, personal, goals. Something to fight for, besides the
well-being of planet Earth.
On Plot Arcs
Remember the apocalypse? The original
one, from The Book of the Revelation? What was wrong
with that? Why was it abandoned? I have nothing against venturing
into other spiritual traditions on this matter, provided an equally
strong and consistent framework is established before being
completely rewritten. The Christian version of the apocalypse
provided a consistent framework, with a rich mythology far from
exhausted, and had the benefit of being somewhat familiar to much of
your audience. It's hardly limiting, given that you guys didn't
remotely stick to the text anyway. Hell, you changed the Big Bad of
the story from God to Moloch! Speaking of which, so what if Moloch
is dead? Let's say he was never really the source of the Horsemen
anyway; maybe Moloch was just middle-management?
When you stick with one framework
(e.g. the American Revolution, the Book of the Revelation) you can
mess with it absurdly and we'll come along for the ride because we
have a home to come back to, something solid to reference, and maybe
even some investment in the original mythology. But jumping all over
the place into and out of traditions unfamiliar to much of your
audience, or created wholesale on the fly and underdeveloped, you make it
really difficult for the audience to track, care, and be afraid of
the consequences to our heroes.
(As a reader of mine said to me
recently, “They created a show about two Witnesses stopping the apocalypse from The
Book of the Revelation, and now they've done away with one of
the Witnesses and the Apocalypse. Why are we still here?”).
On Tone
S1, and S2 to a large extent, were
dark—visually as well as tonally. Filming by day is great from the
perspective of allowing your cast and crew to get a decent night's
sleep, but terrible from a horror perspective. Daylight is just not
scary.
Also, remember when Crane was cranky
and broody and depressed? That moodiness lent an urgency and tense
passion to his work in S1. While it's nice to see the lad smiling
and happy on occasion, it makes no sense that he would be so in
Season 3, having just killed his wife and son, and even less after
the death of his partner/soul mate Abbie Mills!
Dark can be fun. This is, at least in
part, a horror show after all. I love Tom Mison's smile, but I miss
Cranky Crane.
If you've made it this far you deserve
an award, a pat on the back, or at least a drink. Sorry I can't give
you any of those from here, but thank you, deeply.
If you're
bringing Abbie back, I do have ideas for actual episodes I'd be honored
to pitch to you and the other producers in person.
Best of luck with Sleepy Hollow,
and all your other projects.
Yours respectfully,
Val D. Phillips
Eric Heisserer 
