Why I Haven't Posted Any Sleepy Critiques in a While

I had decided not to post any more critiques of Sleepy Hollow until a) I had finished my spec script of the show, and b) I didn't want to even hint at criticism of the show until it got renewed.

In actual fact, I got really sick this winter and am just now coming out of it, in time for spring work on the farm to begin demanding the majority of my attention.

But I will be posting critiques for all the remaining episodes, and probably soon, because Fox insists on making all us Sleepyheads miserably nervous wondering if our favorite show will be back for a third season.

And, no.  I haven't finished my spec yet.  But I'm working on it, and also a pilot.  And writing these critiques of such finely written TV helps me enormously.

See you soon.

The Best of Sleepy Hollow, Season 2

Best Episodes

1. “The Weeping Lady” by M. Raven Metzner and “The Root of All Evil” by Melissa Blake & Don Todd (TIE).
2. “The Akeda” by Mark Goffman and “Kali Yuga” by Sam Chalsen & Nelson Greaves, story by Heather V. Regnier
3. “Magnum Opus,” by Donald Todd and “Mama” by Damian Kindler.

It's my blog; I can cheat if I want to.

Best Performance by a Female Lead

Nicole Beharie in “The Root of All Evil”

God, we've missed you Frank!  Welcome back!

Best Performance by a Male Lead
Tom Mison in "Tempus Fugit"

Best Director/s

Doug Aarniokoski and Len Wiseman

Best Performance by a Lead Male Actor Ignored for Much of the Season

Orlando Jones in “The Akeda” and “Pittura Infamante”

Best Performance by a Male Actor in A Supporting Role (Regular)

Neil Jackson. In almost everything he did.

Best Performance by a Male Actor in A Supporting Role (Guest)

Zach Appelman in “And the Abyss Gazes Back”

Mr. Appelman gets my vote for best new
Shakespeare partner for Ichabod

Honorable Mention:

• Sharif Atkins in “What Lies Beneath”

Best Performance by a Female Actor in A Supporting Role (Guest)

Aunjunue Ellis in “Mama”

Best Performance By a Regular Villain

Abraham/Headless in “Magnum Opus”

Best Guest Villain

Max Brown as Orion in “Paradise Lost”

Best Performance by a Lead Female Actor Sent to Series Siberia for Much of the Season

Lyndie Greenwood in “Mama” and "Root of All Evil"

Best Guest Good Guy/Gal

Founding Mother of the "Crane On The Brain" Society

Caroline in “The Weeping Lady”

Best Founding Father

Thomas Jefferson (though Ben Franklin in the finale was pretty great).

Best Resolution to a Character Conundrum

Hawley, in “Kali Yuga”

This shirt brought to you by... damn!

Best Ichabbie Moment

Everything in “Kali Yuga”

Best Resolution to a Time-Travel Conundrum

Having Grace Dixon undo the travelers' spell in “Tempus Fugit”

Best Costume/Hair/Wig Moments

• Ichabod's Flashback outfit, wig and hat in “The Weeping Lady” (wow)
• Katrina's cocktail dress in “Pittura Infamante” (how do you say “wow” in Swedish?)
• Ichabod's and Abraham's fencing clothes in “Magnum Opus” (please, sir, some more?)
• Ichabod's blue shirt in “Heartless” (did post-production darken Mison's eyes, or are they really that blue?)
• Abbie's hoodie in “Tempus Fugit” (I don't know why, I just loved it). (But Abbie needs to change it up next season. We get that she's a gorgeous badass in jeans. Let's let our hero have a little glamour).
• Ichabod's uniform, hat and wig in “Tempus Fugit”

Best Confining of Men to the Sidelines and Letting the Women Handle It

• “The Root of All Evil” and “Mama” (TIE)

Honorable Mention:

• “Tempus Fugit” (Grace and Abbie exchange intel and cook up a spell while Ichabod just stands there holding flowers).

Best Ludicrous Talent of Ichabod's

Knowing how to play the Chinese bone flute

I just put this here cause she's so damned pretty.
And #AbbieMillsDeservesBetter

Best Defeat of a Villain by Abbie

Colonel Mustard, in the jail, with her bare hands, “Tempus Fugit”

Honorable Mention:

• hand-to-hand combat against demons in “Paradise Lost”

Best Performance of a Witch by a Supposed Non-Witch

Abbie in “The Weeping Lady” and “Heartless”

Honorable Mention:

• Jenny in “Mama”

Best Performance of a Witch by a Witch

Katrina in “Awakening” and “Tempus Fugit”

Best Hawley Moment

His appreciation of Ichabod having married a witch, and (sadly) his departure. (TIE)

Best War/Henry Moment

Everything in the last act of “The Akeda”

Best Katrina Moment

When she grabbed her husband and kissed him in “Pittura Infamante.”

Honorable Mention: whenever she stood up to Ichabod about anything.

Best “Ichabod Crane Modern Man” Moment

Ichabod drives. Like a maniac.

Yeah, we like brave heroines like Abbie and Jenny
and we like chivalrous men like Crane.  We're women.
Get over it.

Bravest Stunt People

Whoever was willing to get into a car with Tom Mison.

Best “Ichabod Crane Not A Modern Man” Moment

The bow to Caroline, his refusal to resolve things between them by text.

Honorable mentions:

• Instantgram[sic] outrage
• “Perhaps there's a stable near by....”
• Mary Poppins love

Best Abbie “I Am So Done With You” Moment

With Ichabod and Katrina in Headless' cell after Katrina released the Horseman.

Best Ichabod Tirade

To Reyes, about his rights, in “The Root of All Evil”

Best Reyes Moment

Shooting Lydia Galway

Best Abbie Meltdown

They had potential, poor things. 

“That's what you took away from what we just saw?” in “Magnum Opus”

Best Sword Fight

Ichabod and Abraham in the Gorgon's cave,“Magnum Opus”

Honorable Mention:

• Irving vs. War in “The Akeda

Best GIFable Moment

“Good Morning, Sunshine” from Magnum Opus. Kudos Doug Aaniovski, Lighting Team, Don Todd, and Tom Mison.

Best Music

Colonial-era “Sympathy for the Devil” from “Tempus Fugit”

Best Lighting

The. Whole. Damned. Season. Was. Phenomenal.

Best Sound

Ichabod swordfights with earbuds in “Go Where I Send Thee.” And probably tons of other stuff. I'm sorry. I don't know much about sound.

Best Special Effects

Would “all of them” be cheating?

Best Stunt Work By Stunt People

Honestly, I have no idea, because you all are so damned good at your jobs I have no idea when I'm watching stunt professionals and when I'm watching regular actors. All I can imagine is that you work very hard and it's very painful. Kudos, and Excedrin Back and Body to you!

Best Stunt Work By Non-Stunt People

Katia Winter in “The Weeping Lady”

Best Make-Up

Salem “witches” in “Spellcaster” and Spirit Mary in “The Weeping Lady”

Best “Crane is So In Love With Abbie” Moment

Thank you Brownie Harris, without whom
we never would have seen this.

When Abbie nearly drowns in the library

Honorable Mention

• Watching her sing “Crazy” at Mabie's
• Reaching for a knife to stop Katrina from killing Abbie.

Best “Abbie is So In Love With Crane” Moment

Without hesitation, following Katrina into the 18^th Century to stop her from killing Crane

Honorable Mention

• “Really? You're really going to go there?” when he suggests one day she might settle down with a husband.
• “Szechuan Chicken? It's your favorite.”

Best Job Fixing a Problematic Character Arc

Let's be honest here:  Best moment of the whole
damned season (adjective choice intentional)

Killing Moloch and bringing Frank back from the dark side (TIE)

Best Relative of a Witness From the 18^th Century

Grace Dixon, hands-down

Best Job Getting Katrina Out of Her Corset

Moloch.

Note: I know a lot of you are going to be shocked, confused or outraged that I didn't list “The Awakening” or “Tempus Fugit” among my favorite episodes. In truth, both episodes were outstanding on so many levels. The problem is, as the problem has always been, Katrina. But more on that in a different post.

US Embarrassments in International Relations: A Few Highlights (or Lowlights, If You Will)

Will someone please send the United States Government a few copies of The Princess Bride?* Obviously not one of them has ever seen it. What kind of supposedly great nation-state starts or gets involved with not one but as many 10 land wars in Asia in a single century?!?! With Benjamin Netanyahu, Prime Minister of the State of Israel, in Washington last week trying to drum up support for #11, I thought this might be a nice time to remember some of the U.S. Government's finer moments in international relations.

A few of the more serious reasons to duck our heads in shame:

• Pretty much everything the US has ever done vis-a-vis the indigenous nations of this hemisphere.

• The slave trade. Actually, make that everything related to slavery.

• Most of what passes for U.S. immigration policy.

• Almost everything related to the Arab world, not to mention non-Arab Muslim states like Pakistan and Iran.

• Mexico, Chile, Cuba, Panama, Grenada, Nicaragua, El Salva—you know what? Let's just go ahead and throw in the whole of Latin America and the School of the Americas while we're at it. 

• 

  Remind me again... why does ISIL exist?

  Did I mention military intervention in Africa? No, of course not. I'm white.

• I'm not putting the internment of Japanese-Americans here because that was a domestic travesty. We interned our own people for the sole “crime” of being Japanese-American (good thing we learned from that mistake).
• Guantanamo, Abu Ghraib,and every US prison/torture chamber around the world.

And now, a few of the more fun:

• Then-President of the United States George Bush Sr. throwing up on the Prime Minister of Japan. Now, in fairness, the former was suddenly taken quite ill. Nevertheless, if you're going to projectile vomit onto someone at dinner, aim for your wife. She signed up for that shit when she married you. And your country never dropped nuclear bombs on her country.

• Barbara Bush kissing Denis Thatcher's hand. Points to Ms. Bush for spontaneity, sense of humor, and chivalry. But a) this was literally the only feminist-ish thing she ever did as First Lady, and b) if the Revolutionary war was fought for no other reason, it was fought so American women can enjoy a British gentleman being a British gentleman without it meaning he owns us. 

• Former Vice-President Dan Quayle representing the U.S. with deep thoughts like "the importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other.” Next time your son or daughter comes home from school depressed, believing they did a terrible job speaking in front of the class, just show them this link. Trust me: it will cheer them right up.

• George W. Bush's groping of Chancellor Angela Merkel (thanks to Joe Biden's recent grope of Stephanie Carter, among others, this is now a also a domestic—and bipartisan--embarrassment).

  

  Happy International Women's Day, Angela!

• And this week's fabulous humiliation: Speaker of the House John Boehner inviting the sitting Prime Minister of another country to try to undermine the President of the United States' efforts to avoid, at least for the time being, what would doubtless become yet another land war in Asia (not to mention giving said Prime Minister so many standing ovations it led Jon Stewart to conclude this about that).

Now you're probably wondering, why is Benjamin Netanyahu's visit listed with “the silly”? Look, when one of your own countrymen makes a dance mix of your speech, you've officially resigned as a public servant and become a circus clown. But don't feel bad, Bibi. At least you've got the U.S. Congress performing right along with you.

*On second thought, don't bother sending them the DVDs. They all supposedly watched The Battle of Algiers before invading Iraq, and we see how great that turned out. As the good book says, don't throw pearls before swine.