After Trump's Election: What Now?

The election is over and people are hurting, scared, and wanting to do something.   This is a just a quick piece offering my suggestions, for what they're worth.  I hope they're helpful.  If not, try someone else, but don't give up.  Never, ever, ever give up.

If you want to make real social change, make a difference in your society, what's needed, and what ultimately works, is the easiest thing to say, and the most difficult thing to do: build a strong community.

Building community with people with whom you have affinity but who are different from you is difficult, but incredibly rewarding. Bear in mind that every person on the planet is different from you.

Step One: Give a shit about someone other than yourself. Not in a vague, “I'm worried about Muslims, I'm worried about immigrants, I'm worried about queer folk, I'm worried about black folk” sort of way, but in an “I'm worried about Samer" kind of way. If you don't know a specific person about whom you are concerned, find one.

Step Two: Ask that person how you can help. How can you be supportive? What can you do, physically, emotionally, spiritually, to make a positive difference in that person's life? Listen to them. Ask questions. Keep doing that till you die.

Step Three: Start with one person, build your circle of concern to include their family, their friends, their community. Get to know them. Really. Show up at their events. Not just political ones. Social ones. Family ones. Spiritual ones. Be present. Truly care. Don't fake it. I can't even begin to tell you how much repeatedly showing up counts for in building trust and affection. Trust and affection are the bedrock of strong, healthy community. Not commonality, as you might assume.

Community is the bedrock of healthy, strong social movements. It will also dramatically improve the quality of your own life. Yes, it's an investment of your time and energy, and, no, it can't be done online. Yes, it's effective. Yes, it will change you.

What are some specific things you can do?

1. Feed people. Make a big pot of pasta and invite over your neighbors (thanks to Corina and Ben for this suggestion). Pasta's cheap, but everyone loves it unless they're gluten-free, so make a big pot of GF pasta as well. Ask folks how they're doing. Listen and care. Let them know you are listening and care. Once you find people with whom you want to build community, repeat as often as humanly possible. You want people to show up? Feed them. That said,
2. Keep drinking/drugs to a minimum. The goal here is to get to know people for who they really are, not who they are intoxicated.
3. Make music with people, organize a concert—in your living room, a park, a concert hall. Check out David Rovics.  Read his blog.  Listen to his stuff.  He's kind of awesome. 
4. Create a safe space for people to have fun together, not just talk politics (but make it clear this is a political space). The Centro Sociale movement in Italy is a great example of this.
5. Keep the lines of communication open. By this, I do not mean keep emailing, texting, and Facebooking people. Use those tools if they work for you, but ultimately you have to
6. Get off your devices. The kind of community-building that is strong enough to change the world is not done online. I know you think I'm a dinosaur for saying this, that I just don't understand, but I do. Community requires physical human presence and contact. This requires you to (and this is the hardest part for many of us)
7. Leave your house/bedroom. I know it's scary. I know it makes you vulnerable. That's the point. You can't connect, really connect in a way that means anything, without being vulnerable. I know it's hard. It's also the most important work of being human. You have to be brave to change the world. You are brave.

Building community is step one before building any kind of a healthy social movement. A movement built on stressful meetings can be broken by a stressful meeting, or an infiltrator. A movement built on genuine affection, mutual respect, and reciprocal NEED, can't be. This also make the whole thing a hell of a lot more fun, and people want to keep doing things that are fun. They eventually stop doing things that aren't.

Now, if you're determined to build community with folks with whom you vehemently disagree/of whom you are afraid,

Step One: Recognize that this is NOT where social change comes from. These folks are the people least likely to join you in opposing what you do not want. You're not building community with these folks to organize and mobilize them. You're doing it for much more selfish reasons.

Step Two: Recognize why you are doing this. Because A) these folks are your family, and you don't really want to be alienated from your family, B) you share a country with them, whether you like them or not, C) it's harder to hate someone you know and/or understand, and hate feels shitty and will make you weak, not strong, D) you might actually learn something that will help you do a better job building your own movement for change, and finally, sadly, E) these are the ones who are most likely going to be responsible for turning you in and/or shooting you. It's much harder to do that to someone you know and like.

Step Three: Ask the person questions and listen deeply to their answers. Do not debate. Do not try to change their minds. Just listen. If you're still not getting beyond the surface, ask other questions. Racism and other phobias fill a need. If that need is filled with something else, like love, compassion, understanding, or meaning, or confidence, it's far more difficult to exploit.    

Be patient, be kind, stay strong, and remember what Sam said to Frodo: there's some good left in this world and it's worth fighting for.